This is a recurring short story that I can write in spurts. There is no real beginning or end, but will simply chronicle the mishaps of a pizza delivery man. It is most certainly inspired by my time as a pizza delivery truck driver, but as you will see, the similarities stop there.
“I Once Was a Dead Old Man”
A couple of shady looking characters walked into Mancini’s Pizza in Santa Monica. The elderly lady, and what appeared to be her granddaughter, were obviously up to no good. They approached the counter. The owner, Mr. Biagio Mancini, waitied warily behind the register. He’d seen their kind before, and at the tender age of 74, he was suspicious of everyone.
“Excuse me sir,” the old woman asked in a frail voice, “But could you change our dollar for quarters?”
At least five times a day this happened. The parking outside, save for two spots reserved for Mancini’s Pizza, were all metered. People like these two sorry beggars were the bane of Biagio Mancini’s existence.
“What? I’m so so sorry. You think this is a bank, no? Down the street, you go the bank.” Mr. Mancini’s aged voice had practiced this line countless times.
“Oh, no sir, we just needed change for the meter and wondered-”
“Yes, yes, you and everybody else. No change! You go now!”
“But just four quarters sir…”
Mancini’s Italian accent grew thicker with his anger. In a whisper the woman could barely hear he said “Get out of my store.”
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Mancini reached for the long metal pole used to reach deep into the pizza oven. Using both hands he held the pole like a warrior headed to battle.
In a slightly louder voice he said again, “Get out of my store.”
The woman looked downright confused and began to back away from the crazed grey haired man.
“Get out of my store,” Mancini said, now slightly louder than the average speaking voice.
“What a sad old man-”
“Get out of my store!” he said, now at yelling volume. He muttered Italian curse words of the foulest nature under his breathe.
The old lady and her granddaughter hastened their pace and left the store without quarters.
