Saw this on Drudge. One-fourth of NYC residents have the herpes virus. I think it’s hilarious that the article’s suggestion is that people start taking advantage of the city’s free condom offer. Despite condoms, a ton of people have the virus, so they haven’t been very effective so far. Maybe people should stop having sex with anything that moves and focus more on the family and meaningful relationships.

The following is an original short story by the blarg. Love it, hate it, or be confused, but I think you’ll enjoy it. If you like the first paragraph click down for the rest.

Update: Sorry for the lack of resolution in the first edition. The wife was making me hurry to come downstairs to watch TV.

    Rich Nguyen was closing up shop for the night. His parents owned the place, but this "responsibility" as they called it, was usually his. Even at twelve years old, when they’d decided to buy the store, Rich had known that "Good Market" was a stupid name. Like most parents they didn’t listen to him though, and now a sophomore in college, he was stuck with the late shift at Good Market.

continue reading…

Since I just posted an annoying loser person on my blog, I decided it would be a good time to follow up. There are two specific types of people that drive me utterly insane with their loserness and idiocy.

Girls with sunglasses so big they take up their whole face

Mostly seen at CSULB my last semester and also on myspace, these girls annoy me beyond words. Much like the girl in the post below, all those sunglasses tell me is that you are much more likely to be whorish than most girls. You’re also more likely to get drunk at random parties, hook up with loser guys, and you probably want to go into liberal studies or nursing (let’s see how many people I can offend in one post!).

In case you do wear these kind of sunglasses, let me clarify that there are other qualifications beyond the sunglasses. They are in no specific order: bleached blonde hair, wife beaters, smoking, working at hooters, thinking you’re on The O.C., bragging about the numerous children you’ve fathered to guys with trucker hats, and you probably will never actually finish college and get a real job because you’re too busy thinking you’re a porn star.

I wish I had this intuition back in High School.

Gangsters with shaved heads that all wear white shirts to their knees and roam like a pack of wolves

There is a reason you don’t see successful people in life doing the above: it makes you an idiot gangster by default. Stop bumping your crappy music in your obviously leased Escalade and do something with your life. Instead of walking around like you’re about to rob a liquor store, get a job and learn how to dress! At least get clothes that fit, and buy a comb and get a hairstyle. Even worse than this is the gangster that doesn’t know how to use a condom and becomes tied down by a kid. Faced with this obvious life change and responsibility, do you lose the gangster look and attitude? Of course not, you just go along being an idiot gangster setting a horrible example for your children to follow in your footsteps.

You’ve been epitomized in gangster movies and rap music for so long now, aren’t you tired of it? I am.

**If you belong to either of the two groups, please respond and tell me why you make the decisions that you do.**

Found this today surfing the web and thought it was very random. Hope you all enjoy, and no, I don’t know where to get one. You can read the article here.