For a large part of my twenties, I’ve enjoyed arguing. Usually political in nature, I’ve enjoyed learning what I think, and challenging anyone who thinks differently. I think the biggest motivating factor for me was to try and enlighten other people to the way that I think, but for various reasons, I don’t really care anymore.

First, it doesn’t seem to work. I would say that 99% of discussions don’t change ANYTHING, so what’s the point? I think most of us learn many different things that inform our beliefs, but they usually get generalized. For example, if I think welfare programs do more harm to individuals than help, it’s probably based on things I’ve read in the past. But most of us, me included, take that information and have to generalize it, and recalling statistics or specific examples is difficult. So if there is any redeeming quality from some of the discussions I’ve had, it’s that I’ve had to commit specific examples to memory to support my beliefs (like the poverty level was declining leading into the great society, and after the great society it has remained stagnant). Obviously I’m not trying to get into a political argument, I’m just giving an example.

But like I was saying, it doesn’t seem to change anyone’s mind, so why even bother? Not only does it take a lot of time, but it’s a chore most of the time. Thinking about how you’ll respond to someone’s argument which is full of generalizations, personal attacks, and stupid tricks like claiming things are FAR more complicated than I could understand…it’s just annoying, so why bother?

I’d like to think that my goal for engaging in arguments was to seek truth, but the more that I see other people argue, it seems to be more about affirmation; people that argue not to find the truth, but to win and make themselves feel good. If you make big, long winded posts and never ask the other person a single question to try and understand their position better, you’re not seeking truth. You’re arguing to win, which is arguing to make yourself feel better.

But I like arguing because I feel it keeps me sharp. It forces me to understand what I believe, and be able to articulate it. And I think there’s a certain obligation to stand up for what you believe. But is it worth it? The time, the broken friendships, the frustration? I’m not sure anymore.