I love Mountain Dew. Lately though I am outraged by the high cost I have to pay. I am part of the working class of this country. I pay my taxes and obey the law. But evil Pepsi is charging way too much for Mountain Dew. They are making tons of money and paying their President millions of dollars. And who is suffering? Myself and all the other helpless soda drinkers. I have no choice but to drink Mountain Dew, because there are no other rehydration options available to me. I demand that Pepsi, a private business that only exists because they want to, lower the price of Mountian Dew immediately! They are obviously charging more for soda than they have to, and even though I have zero evidence to prove that, I will continue to cry "PRICE GOUGING!"

Ridiculous right? The above is completely idiotic, yet people continue to complain about gas prices in the same way. Some morons in Sacramento are suggesting a new tax on gasoline profits. As any economist will tell you, taxes make things cost MORE!

Sacramento: Hey evil oil companies, if you make more money than we think you should, we’re going to tax you.
Oil Companies: Geez, that doesn’t sound fair. Are you going to tax McDonald’s if they make a lot of money?
Sacramento: No, of course not, don’t be silly.
Oil Companies: Why are you going to tax us then?
Sacramento: Because you’re EVIL! (and all the morons in America will be happy and vote for us because we attacked the evil oil companies).
Oil Companies: Right…

The above article details several things that explain our current oil "situation."

1) We have LESS oil refineries than we did in the 1980′s, reducing the supply of refined crude oil.
2) After 30 investigations in the last 20 years there has been ZERO evidence of price gouging (including congress questioning oil execs just a few months ago).
3) Oil companies earned 5.8 cents on each dollar, compared to 5.5 cents for other industries.

Unfortunately none of that matters. The public hears that an oil executive makes 400 million dollars and BAM, they’re evil and ripping off the American worker. GET OVER IT! Ride a bike, buy a bus pass, strap on your rollerblades, tame a wild stallion, carpool, walk, jog, run, crawl, move closer to work, get a hot air balloon, flyer a glider, invent a new gyrocopter, or hop on that pogostick.

Here at The Blarg I am proud to say….I AM NOT A VICTIM!